Stage 1: Me, have kids? Really?

Your biological alarm goes off. Every baby is unbelievably cute. Am I ready for kids? They are pretty darn cute. Why not? Plus, making babies is quite fun!

Stage 2: Blue line pregnant or no line?

The missed period - am I, aren't I? Soon confirmed by the morning trips to the bathroom to meet with you new acquaintances Ralph and Huey. But it is all worth it when you feel that first flutter - was that a kick? Was that his, you-know, on the ultrasound?

Flash forward a few months. The kicks, elbows, backaches, and swollen ankles are part of your daily routine. Gross! Varicose veins. What happened to your body?

Baby arrives with loud fan fare. You swear at your husband and swear you can't take the pain of giving birth ever again. You spot her cute grin and your heart melts.

Stage 3: Your life has changed forever.

Sleepless nights, sore nipples, dieting to lose all those extra pounds. Meanwhile, the little darling can do no wrong. Look! She smiles! And she has discovered her toes! I wonder if they really taste so good?

The "firsts" for every occassion erupt. She sits, crawls, stands, and walks to you all on her own. She can eat solid food and go to the potty. You are so proud until she throws an ear piercing tantrum. This doesn't deter your enthusiasm about celebrating her "firsts".

You sing nursery rhymes that give way to watching TV instead.

Your baby heads off to school. You are thrilled, but will miss her at the same time.

Stage 4: Her social world expands.

She is no longer your little baby. She goes to school. She wears a uniform that makes her look so independent.

Toilet jokes - everything and anything to do with pooping and peepee is absolutely hilarious!

Common "firsts" evolve to the first best friend and the first time facing rejection. She loves to run around the playground and ends up with bumps and scrapes. She realizes that life is not always fair.

You want them to be independent, but it is hard. Why can't you have the ability to protect them from the world?

Stage 5: She hits the books.

The subject of play turns to math and English. She is a good student, but some students are not. You are lucky to have a smooth academic experience ahead of you.

Despite the tense moments, you will always have the cute moments such as when she spies Santa or wants a frilly doll for her birthday.

Time too for rules and chores, they're not your little babies anymore!

Phase 6 - Pre-teens and Puberty

Girls will be girls and boys will be boys - and never the two shall mix. Well, why would they? The girls are all into pink and giggle too much - and the boys are just too cool for such silliness.

Clothes. You are just SO out of date mom! No one wears that anymore! And why should it matter if my pants are hanging down by my knees? Mom, these clothes are too small!

Your daughter says popular words that you don't understand.

Their voices go up and down. Your daughter is embarassed and proud to shop for her first bra.

Stage 7: The opposite sex suddenly looks attractive.

Suddenly boys and girls are not so alien after all. Does (s)he fancy me?

Your daughter has become the authority on everything. You have somehow become the student.

Parents are out of style while friends are the top of their social list. Your daughter wants to stay out till the wee hours of the morning with friends. Why not? Everyone else is staying out that late.

But, every now and then, you can have an amazing conversation with your new young adult - as long as you aren't trying to lecture them.

Then, one day, the fireworks settle. The grunts turn into English again and like a phoenix from the ashes, and new (adult) human emerges - full of ideals and dreams and visions, but perhaps a bit short on confidence and wisdom.

Stage 8: (The rest of your lives.)

So they've left home - but they are still your little darlings. Your worries and hopes for them continue.

You will always love your children no matter what.

Life is short. Enjoy moments with your children whenever you can.

About the Author, Dr. Noel Swanson:

Dr. Noel Swanson specializes in helping parents with their children's behaviors. To read more of his expert parenting advice go to his website and check out his hugely popular GOOD CHILD Guide manual, packed full of practical parenting advice. Glyconutrients and autism.

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Glyconutrients, Glyconutrients and Autism, seven stages of every parents life